Monday, 23 July 2007

An Open Letter To The BBC News Department.

by Edwin Hesselthwite

Dear BBC supremos (I'm looking at you Nick Robinson).

We are writing to you in order to discuss the editorial choices your team has been making since the handover of power, in regards to our ex-Prime Minister — Mr Anthony Charles Lynton Blair.

We understand that it is hard to get out of the habit of treating the actions of Mr Blair as news. We realise that the man somehow managed to leave office without being defenestrated (primarily due to the absolutely gutless nature of the Parliamentary Labour Party, leaving the only other measure citizens could take to remove him being the judicial system, a desperate attempt at eviction that you are now completely misinterpreting as a police vendetta), and we understand that the historical narrative you have established for the man doesn't have the cute journalistic shorthand of a Thatcher, Chamberlain or Eden. We fully understand that you have difficulty working out where he now sits in the editorial pecking order, and that you have therefore mistakenly awarded him a status akin to a US President who has completed 2 full terms.

No, this is more in the nature of a public service request... Many of us (Dr Sean Gabb wrote eloquently on the issue) have built up a reaction to the man that has passed our conscious brain and has taken residence in the pineal gland. We — and there are many — are now incapable of setting eyes on a photograph of the vile war-monger without feeling a rise in blood pressure and having an effect on our lifespan roughly equivalent to 50 cigarettes... He, who played with our checks and balances like a judicial Jenga set, has become the visual equivalent of fingernails on a blackboard, and we ask you in the public interest to consider the nation's health.

Until a day comes when we can read a history of the Blair kleptocracy by people other than Andrew "the fawner" Rawnsley and Alastair "bludgeoner" Campbell, we ask that you treat him the way you treated Messrs Adams and McGuinness in the '80s, leaving him unheard and (would this be possible) even unseen.

Thank you for your consideration.

Little Man, What Now?



A calming image... Think on running water and breathe deep.

4 comments:

Pritchard Buckminster said...

Completely unconnected but annoying the hell out of me – would the BBC please stop referring to these floods as “unprecedented” and then go on to say they are the worst for fifty years, OFTEN IN THE SAME SENTENCE!!! Honestly people, if they’re the worst since last time then they are not unprecedented are they? Grumble grumble, mutter, the BBC never used to make that kind of mistake…..

Edwin Hesselthwite said...

I live in the fortunate position of never watching TV news, so I just filter out the "This biblical flood shall cast all into the fiery pit... Particularly Cameron's political career" crap on News Online.

Let the rurals enjoy their minute in the public eye... They don't get their turn very often.

Edwin Hesselthwite said...

I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him.

Someone, please... A suicide bomber. A sharp minded BBC Editor.. Just take him away. Now.

Shades of Grey said...

Hate? Is it a Rhett and Scarlet kind of hate?

I think, not very deep down you lurve him.